It's Always You
by raffertymacht
Summary: Donna & Harvey's first Thanksgiving.


**AN: **So... Hi! I haven't written for over a year and this is my very first fic in English, so saying I'm nervous to be posting this is an understatement. Luckily I had the best cheerleaders by my side and I literally couldn't have done this without them. Pravi, Blue & Bianca (or Madonna, as I call her), I can never thank you enough for reading over this and for all your help, encouragement and support. Love you, girls!

Also, this fic is set in New York and Lily's still alive just because I can, ha. Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

* * *

Donna closes the door behind her after their last guest finally leaves. She lets out a tired sigh as her lips form a relieved smile. They did it. They'd successfully hosted their first Thanksgiving as a married couple. Well, their very first celebration as a married couple. First of many, she thought.

It's also the first time they had their friends and family over at their new home just outside of Manhattan. They'd moved a little over a month before, agreeing that starting this new chapter of their lives away from all the big city chaos would be best for them. Both of their families had been invited. Donna finally had the chance to meet Lily and Marcus in person and so had their close friends who were like family. Even Jessica, Mike and Rachel managed to fly all the way from their new homes to join them.

Between helping giving attention to their guests and reassuring Clara and Rachel that she and Harvey would get married again, since the two would never let her forget the fact they weren't at their wedding even though it had taken her completely by surprise as well, Donna also spent a great part of her day with baby Lucy, who'd eventually fallen asleep blissfully in her godmother's arms. Naturally, Harvey couldn't take his eyes off them, and of course, Marcus didn't miss the opportunity to tease his older brother about how much of a whipped man he'd become - as if he cared. Being married to that woman is the best thing that's ever happened to him and he has no problem admitting that.

As Harvey puts the last plate in the dishwasher, Donna walks towards the couch and sits, folding her legs under her. He can say she looks tired, but radiant, and decides to join her, though not before filling two glasses with wine and taking them with him.

"You've got something on your mind?" he asks as he hands her one of the glasses and sits down next to her.

Donna only smiles at him, placing her glass on the coffee table before getting a notebook and two pens she'd purposefully left there earlier. She shifts her position on the couch, moving so her legs can rest on his lap.

"So, when I was little," she begins as Harvey takes a sip of his wine, "I used to sit down with my parents after Thanksgiving dinner and we'd each make a list of at least five things we were thankful for that year." Her lips turn upward at the memory, her mind taking her back to those years with her parents for a few seconds before focusing again on her husband. "We'd read it aloud after and talk about why we were thankful for those things. We stopped doing that together after they split up and for some reason we never got back to it after they got back together, but I still kept writing it every year anyway and I was thinking… I would love to continue that tradition with you."

"I'd love nothing more," he smiles lovingly at her. They had their rituals, sure - the can opener and strawberries and whipped cream are still their things, but the thought of creating new holiday traditions with his wife warmed his heart.

"Good." She mirrors his smile and gives him a page from the notebook along with one of the pens.

They begin to work on their list in a comfortable silence, which is only momentarily broken by Donna's laugh as she scolds him for trying to take a peek at her list.

"Done." Harvey says after a moment, putting his pen down.

"Okay, you go first," Donna instructs holding the notebook close to her chest, not wanting to risk Harvey reading it before the right time.

"This was harder than I thought." Harvey takes a deep breath before starting. "Alright, number one. I'm thankful for all the times you've put me first, even when I didn't deserve it and never acknowledged how that would affect you."

"Yes, there were times that you didn't deserve it," she chuckles, "and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I would regret putting you over myself, but to be honest, I wouldn't change a thing." She pauses for a second and her tone is lower when she speaks again. "Well, except for the last time."

Harvey can sense a bit of regret in her voice.

"Forget about that, it's in the past." He gives her leg a reassuring squeeze. "Besides, that led us to end up here, didn't it?" She gives him a small nod so he continues, "but it's a good thing that you don't have to do that anymore, you know. Putting me over you. We're a team now. I mean, we always have been, but we communicate better now, and we'll handle things together, no matter what."

"Right." Donna agrees. She loves that about this new dynamic between them, the way Harvey is willing to open up more with her, and how she is learning to do the same.

They share an affectionate smirk before he carries on. "Number two. I'm thankful for you agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me." Harvey reaches for her hand that's resting on her lap and caresses the beautiful ring that used to belong to his grandmother.

"Well, I knew I was pretty much fated to that, I'm just glad you finally decided to put a ring on it," Donna teases with a dramatic sigh, earning her a roll of his eyes and a chuckle. "Just so you know, I can't wait to do it again," Harvey grins, remembering his promise to marry her again when he first proposed.

"Oh, you'd better," she laughs. "Didn't you see my mom and Rachel unable to shut up about them not being at our unplanned wedding today? I'll never hear the end of it."

"You don't need to worry about that," he reassures with the boyish grin she loves so much. "I look forward to our next wedding. I sure as hell would marry you every day if I could."

"You're such a sap, Harvey Specter." Donna snickers and gives him a loving look while patting his chest. "Okay, keep going."

"Number three. I'm thankful for moments like this one we're having now. I know we hadn't always been the best when it came to communicating with each other." Donna raises an eyebrow, which makes him roll his eyes. "Especially me, I know. Old habits die hard, but I think we're doing a pretty good job now. I love this. Learning, and evolving, and sharing things with you. It feels good."

She nods in agreement. "I was actually thinking the same thing a few minutes ago. We still have a lot to learn, but I think we're on the right path."

"We are. And we'll get there."

After a couple of seconds, Harvey continues. "Okay, number four. I'm thankful for you helping me make things right with my mom," he says softly, and Donna can see million emotions on his gaze when he looks at her, the intensity rendering her speechless. "Seriously, Donna. I never thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with her again on such good terms, let alone have her sleeping in a guestroom in my own house." With their hands still linked, Harvey squeezes hers lightly, looking deeply in her eyes. "I'll never be able to thank you enough, no matter how many times I do it."

"You don't need to thank me, Harvey," Donna replies a little overwhelmed, squeezing his hand reassuringly in return. "Her being part of your life - our lives now is all that matters. And I love being able to witness your relationship with her now."

He nods with a small smile and clears his throat before following up with the last item on his list without letting go of her hand. "That kinda leads to number five. Last, but definitely not least, I'm thankful that you've given new meaning to the word home."

A short silence falls between them as Donna waits until he's ready to elaborate. She knows him well enough to notice when he's trying to find the right words. Whatever he's about to tell her, she knows it's another step towards growth and she's proud of him. Harvey's eyes meet hers before he goes on.

"I'd forgotten what it felt like to feel at home. I haven't felt this way since before I found out my mom was cheating on my dad. I knew my family was falling apart and I couldn't do anything about it, so I simply started hating all these holidays and family gatherings." Harvey lets out a breath and a grin takes hold of his features. "Then I met you and learned about your love for these celebrations and let's just say they started growing on me because I knew I'd be seeing you get all excited about them as the dates approached."

She suddenly feels a wave of empathy invading her body and her eyes turned glassy with the weight of his revelations. There would never come a time when Donna wouldn't become overwhelmed when finding out new things about him or about what he really used to think and feel and would never let her see when they weren't officially together - because he is right, it feels like they've always been together. Even though they've known each other for over a decade, sometimes it'd still feel like they were finally getting to learn about their younger selves and that inevitably makes them fall even more in love with one another.

"So all the times you'd mock my Halloween or Christmas decorations, you were actually enjoying them?" She finally responds, opting to keep their conversation light while unable to hide her emotions — not that she'd want to. There's no need for that anymore. They're free to feel.

"I'd say _enjoying_ is a strong word. Still wasn't in the mood for all those decorations in my office. A small Christmas tree on my desk wouldn't have been that bad, but I'd have never admitted that," he snickers. "But yeah, deep down, I found your cubicle decorations kinda cute."

"All these years... I can't believe you." Donna rolls her eyes. "Just wait 'til you see the Christmas decorations I'm already planning for your home office now."

"Well, now that my little secret's out, I'd be more than happy to help." They share a laugh, but his face grows more serious. A beat passes before he speaks again, "I meant it, Donna. You've changed the meaning of that word for me. You've always made me feel that way, and not only during these special holidays. You've always been home to me and sometimes, I still find it hard to believe that I'm lucky enough to have a home with you."

"Harvey-" Donna can barely find the strength to whisper his name and the few tears that are threatening to leave her eyes stream down her face the moment her lips find his for a passionate kiss. That is the only way she can manage to let him know exactly what she is feeling and exactly how grateful she is to have him in her life, something words could never express so accurately.

"I love you," she lets out, breaking the kiss with their foreheads touching, her hands steady on the nape of his neck.

"I know." He replies softly, cupping her face and kissing off the tears that had fallen on both sides of her face. "I love you, too."

"And you do realize that all five items on your list were about me, right?" Donna lets out a chortle between her tears and Harvey simply shrugs, "you are my everything, and I wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for you, so I don't see why they can't be." Donna's heart melts with the way the words left his lips so naturally. About eight months into their official relationship, two months into their marriage, and she is still taken aback at moments like this. And somehow she knows this feeling will never change.

"Now it's your turn." Harvey reaches for his glass and takes a sip before placing it next to her still full glass. Donna shifts on the couch to get a little closer to him, almost sitting on his lap now. He wraps his arms around her.

"Well, first, I'm thankful for the night you showed up at my door." Donna bites her lip and raises her eyes to look at him. "You've already told me what made you go over there, but I don't think I've ever told you how I was feeling before you arrived." She pauses, a wistful look covering her features. "I'd made a terrible mistake and that almost cost you your license."

"You don't have to-"

"Just let me finish." She flashes him a reassuring smile so he'll know the conversation won't be about regrets, they'd moved past that, so he waits. "I didn't go to the hearing because I couldn't watch, but that wasn't the only reason. It'd hit me that things weren't ever going to change between us, that we'd keep doing the same old dance, hurting each other over and over even more, so if you'd lost everything you worked for because of me..." Donna caresses his face before resting her hand on his chest, slowly drawing circles there. "I felt it was you when I heard the knock on my door and I thought the worst had happened. It took me a second and a single look at your face to realize everything was okay and the reason you were there. One look — that look — turned the shittiest week of my life into the best life I could've asked for."

"Oh, Donna, I'm so sorry, I-"

"You don't need to be sorry, Harvey. Like you said, that's in the past and we don't have to go back to all of that pain again. I'm glad to be here now, with you. Let's just focus on the memories of what we did in the bedroom that night, shall we?" She smirks at him and Harvey studies her face for a moment.

He still feels like apologizing, but he doesn't want to push her. He's also learned how to read her, though not the same way she does, but he is good enough to see she is truly fine, so he simply wraps her tightly in his arms and nods.

"Okay, so, what else you got there?"

"I'm thankful for my friends and family," she looks up from the notebook to meet his eyes, "including my new extended family." Harvey can't help beaming at her, remembering how much Lily, Marcus and his kids seemed to have loved her instantly. He's always been sure they would get along just fine, but he never thought he would feel more complete than he did when seeing his family and his wife together. "I'm also thankful for our new home." They share a smile, thinking back to what Harvey had just said about her changing the definition of home for him. "As much as I miss the city sometimes, I'm glad we could start our new life together in a quieter place. Our place."

"Me too." He lets out a satisfied sigh and places a kiss on her temple.

"I'm thankful for everything we've accomplished together. The best part of it is looking back and seeing that it does feel like we've always been together for over a decade." Donna pauses for a second and bites her lip in order to contain herself from smiling. "But that was only the beginning of what the future holds for us."

Harvey frowns, confused about her change of tone.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that you are my past, my present," Donna takes his hand and places it on her belly under hers, "and our future." She finishes with a soft voice and studies his reaction.

It takes only a heartbeat for him to get what she means. His face softens and his brown eyes widen slightly when realization of what his wife has told him hits. They haven't exactly talked about having kids, but it's not like they were avoiding it either. Harvey didn't get to see his nephews very often, but he was great with them whenever he visited and they seemed to love him despite the handful of times they'd seen him. Donna hasn't had much previous experience with kids, baby Lucy being the first baby she's ever close to, but she's great with her. Donna holding their best friends' kid has been one of Harvey's new favorite sights, and now he can't wait to see her holding a baby of their own.

"Donna-" he stops, a large smile spreading across his face. His mouth is open, but not a word comes out. He's too overwhelmed with emotions to say anything, but the look on his face is everything Donna needs to know he's happy—happy being an understatement.

He envelops her body in a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck and leaving a quick kiss on her shoulder before letting out a joyful laugh that tickles her skin.

"How long have you known?" His voice is muffled, but she can still hear the joy behind it.

"I found out on our two month anniversary," she says, softly stroking his hair with the tip of her fingers. "You don't know how hard it was to not tell you then, but I wanted to be sure before letting you know."

"I guess I'll have to add an extra item to my Thanksgiving list." Harvey laughs lightly and Donna follows, but her body tenses a little as she takes a deep breath.

"Do you… think we're ready?" she asks slowly, vulnerability showing as a bit of concern and uncertainty begins to seep in.

Harvey pulls back after a minute so he can look at _the mother of his child_, but he doesn't let her out of his embrace. It might be the news affecting him, but he swears she's never been more beautiful.

"Honestly? I don't." He snickers and Donna gives him a look. Before she can reply, he adds, "but I don't think anyone ever is. I'm so scared, Donna. I didn't really have a functional family growing up and you know what that did to me, but this is my chance to make things better for our kid." Harvey places his hand on her belly again and another small tear escapes her eyes. "You've saved me. You've made me a better man. And I know you're gonna make a wonderful mom as well."

"Don't you think it's too fast?" She asks, her concerns almost gone, but still not quite at ease.

He ponders for a second.

"Too fast? Maybe. But like I said when I proposed, I've already wasted too much time. I didn't want to waste another second to marry you, and I definitely don't want to waste another millisecond before having everything with you."

And just like that, she knows everything's gonna be fine. Donna's always been his anchor through all these years, but ever since they got together, she's been learning how it feels to have someone else to ground her. It's been a welcome feeling that she likes very much and she's never felt so safe.

With that, she crashes her lips against his one more time, their joint excitement for the unknown while knowing with certainty that they can handle everything life throws at them driving them higher, their kiss becoming more and more heated, hands seeking bare skin until Harvey realizes Donna's left something out.

"Wait," Harvey breaks the kiss and breathlessly pulls back just enough to face her. "You've only told me four items on your list. What's the last one?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Her voice low, tilting her head slightly, offering him a soft smile while caressing his hair and the nape of his neck. "You._ It's always you_."


End file.
